Dont Stay in a Broken Marriage "For the Children"

If you are clear that you are miserable in your relationship, don't procrastinate on getting a divorce "for the sake of the children." While some experts would argue that having one parent move out of the home increases the stress on young children, consider the likelihood that the benefit of no longer seeing Mommy and Daddy fighting far outweighs any negative effects.

The premise for the remainder of this article is that you have already explored all avenues for rebuilding an empowering relationship with your spouse - you have talked, you have had counseling, you have contemplated your future.

Having determined that a happy relationship is no longer possible, you are considering remaining in your unhappy marriage "for the sake of the children." Don't do it. Here's why:

1. While growing up with two happy parents who love each other is probably the ideal nurturing environment for children, living with one happy parent is far better than living with two people who are unhappy and hate each other.

2. However noble your intentions, you are not going to be able to fake happiness for long. Your children will recognize your unhappiness almost at once, and that will cause them great suffering.

3. While you and your spouse may make an agreement never to argue or treat each other badly in front of the children, you will not be able to keep such an agreement. You will exchange icy stares, unkind words, and sarcasm - if not worse - in spite of your resolve and idealism.

4. Your own well-being does matter, don't discount the importance of your own happiness. Martyrdom is highly over-rated. There is no special place in heaven for those who suffer for no good reason. Don't let guilt - which is also highly over-rated - cause you to make a decision that will certainly cause misery for both yourself and your children.

5. It is your decision - and you are responsible only to yourself in making this decision. Don't be bullied by your partner, parents, relatives, friends, or church. They may have some so-called "moral" position, but the only important factors to consider in making this decision are your children's well-being and your own.

How To Stop Worrying By Using the Qigong Release Exercise

How To Stop Worrying By Using the Qigong Release Exercise
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Spirit is always ready to lighten our burdens. Our only job is to ask respectfully. Here is a ceremony for releasing your troubles back to the Universe.

Choose a quiet place, and stand comfortably with feet spread slightly apart. Take a deep breath, and exhale with a resonant mmmm... sound. Bend slightly at the waist and reach down with both hands - with hands facing each other and about 6 inches apart. Choose something that is very important to you and that you don't think you could stand to lose - such as your house, your favorite sport, your pet, your relationship with a loved one, your hearing, your eyesight, your life. Visualize your important something between your hands.

Rise slowly and bring your hands to your heart - still 6 inches apart, and still holding your treasure. Feel intense love and gratitude for every joyful instant that you have spent with your important something. Now slowly raise your hands above your head, spread your hands apart, and RELEASE your treasure back to the Universe. It never belonged to you anyway - it was just on short term loan from Spirit.

Choose another important something and release it. For everything important in your life, pick it up, love it, nurture it, give thanks for it, and then release it.

Do the same exercise for each person that you have ever loved, and that has passed from this life. Hold them, love them, give thanks for them, and then release them back to the Universe.

Now, release your burdens - your fears, regrets, guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers. One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you, hold it close, and release it to the Universe. Release each incident from your past that still bothers you. Release each fear - your fears about your health, your family, your job, and every other fear.

Breathe deeply, and give thanks.

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind - jlh

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Obviously, "Rattlesnake of the Mind" is a metaphor, and it is inspired by the Zen term, "Monkey Mind," which refers to the mind's tendency to invent an unending sequence of creative stories about everything we see and hear.

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing, are neither your mind nor your body. Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose. Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own, as when it twitches or pains. Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will. That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt, shame, foreboding, worry, and fear is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.

Know that your mind can be a vicious rattlesnake, and be cautious. The mind can be tamed, but only with conscious effort and patience.

John F. Kennedy: Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
- John F. Kennedy

Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do than to be the best YOU that you can - no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.