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Showing posts with label assumptions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assumptions. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

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Beliefs, convictions, opinions.


We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anaïs Nin

It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- jlh


Beliefs, convictions, opinions. When does a belief bring out the best in you? When does a belief hold you prisoner to yesterday and limit your options for designing a great future?

Test your beliefs with as much objectivity as you can bring to the subject. Be willing to let go of those beliefs that represent your parents' opinions or your communities opinions rather than your own.

Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing become the foundation of your being - your reason for living. Take action on those beliefs.

Further reading: The Nature of Belief

How to Share Your Thoughts With the World - Blogging, Letters to the Editor, and much more

Assumptions

How to Stop Worrying

Don't believe yourself

Quotes on Attitude

Know Thyself Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

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Don't Assume, Ask


Don't take anything personally.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Don't make assumptions.
- don Miguel Ruiz


Don't assume you know what someone wants. If you care about them, ask.

Don't assume you know why someone says or does what they do. If you care about them, ask. If you don't know them, just give them the benefit of the doubt.

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Further reading: don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements - The Wisdom of the Ages in Four Sound-Bites

don Miguel Ruiz: Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

Powerful Quotes

Amazing Quotes

Hilarious Quotes

Senior Quotes for a yearbook

Monday, August 30, 2010

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Overflowing Cup of Tea - Zen Koan


Overflowing Cup of Tea
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said, "you are full of your own opinions and assumptions. How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"

Zen Koans like the one above are insightful stories and questions that are designed to defy rational analysis, but provoke an "Aha" moment when the listener "gets it" - intuitively understands the teaching. Probably the best-known koan is, "What is the Sound of One Hand Clapping?"

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Further reading: Zen Koans

Words of Wisdom

How to Save Money while Living Well

Thursday, July 22, 2010

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It is our choices ... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. - J. K. Rowling

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White


Today's affirmation:
I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart.
I renounce all assumptions and expectations.
I declare that I will thoughtfully consider all possibilities.
I will CHOOSE with courage, awareness, consciousness, and compassion toward all.


*** Harry Potter Paperback Box Set (Books 1-7)

Further reading: No one is in control of your happiness but you

I Say NO - I Say YES

CHOICE - the fourth Point of Simply An Inspired Life

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. Robert Foster Bennett

Albert Camus: Life is a sum of all your choices.

Quotes and Sayings about Life Choices

Friday, October 2, 2009

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Perspective on Tradition: An Open Mind

The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper


A question is asked and the answer returns, "Because we've always done it that way." Perhaps that isn't the most inspiring answer possible, but it reflects at least a moment's consideration of the question, and for me, that's a good thing. Why do you drive a Ford? Because my family has always owned Fords. Okay by me.

However, when a question is asked and the answer is "Huh?" we are dealing with something of an entirely different nature. Let's say you are an American male, and the question is, "Why do you wear pants and a shirt?" "Huh?" Perhaps the actual answer is a snotty, "Because I'd look funny in a dress," but it still means, "Huh? That's not even a question." Of course the reason virtually all American males go into the world in pants and shirt rather than dresses, kilts, kimonos, jumpsuits, pajamas, bathrobe, or whatever is that virtually all other American males wear pants and shirt. Purely cultural.

You're Christian (most denominations), "Why do you take off your hat in church?" "Respect." "How is taking off your hat respectful?" "Huh?" You're Jewish, "Why do you wear a yarmulke (hat) in Synagogue?" "Respect." "How is wearing a hat respectful?" "Huh?" Of course religious experts would have ready references to "answer" the question, but that is just another way of saying, "Because my culture has done it that way for centuries."

The point of this writing is NOT that we SHOULD do anything differently from the way we have "always done it." In many cases, it would be downright foolhardy to buck cultural norms. That the people of some political unit agree to drive on the right (or left) side of the highway is purely cultural, like agreeing to wear or not wear head covering during worship. However, a unilateral personal decision to choose the other side of the road would risk a fine, imprisonment, or grave bodily harm. Same for choosing not to pay taxes, or to refuse military conscription or jury duty.

The point here is not about changing what we do, it's about thinking, about awareness, and about choosing. Become AWARE of the cultural norms that pervade our lives. THINK about the alternatives. CHOOSE, based on free-will.

Usually, our free-will choice will be to do exactly the same as our parents, and our family, and our neighbors. Great! Choosing to drive on the same side of the roadway as our neighbors is going to prevent a great deal of conflict.

Surprisingly often though, starting to question our cultural norms will open new vistas for us. Maybe something as simple as a Northerner discovering they love okra and gumbo. Maybe something as life-altering as the revelation of preferring not to become a parent, or that one's preferred home is a boat or an RV rather than a fixed location.

As an aside about cultural rigidity, as an American citizen, you are REQUIRED to be a resident of one of the 50 states and to have a fixed address. Legally, you can't "live" on a boat or in an RV, although millions do, and arbitrarily choose a state and drop box as their legal address. Question: "Why does one have to be a legal resident of one of the 50 states rather than just a resident of the United States as a whole?" Answer: "Huh?" Cultural norms change very slowly.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

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Question every assumption and expectation. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Question every assumption and expectation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


The more you expect, the more you get disappointed in life.
- Anonymous

Be clear that expectations are demands. Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer is a sure path to disappointment and suffering. Happiness lies in having no expectations, and accepting life as it comes.

I need your help designing the future of Daily Inspiration. If you are willing, please read these questions and then leave your thoughts as comments on the blog post. If you prefer, email me your thoughts privately at jlh@sail7.com Thank you very much.

Further reading: Life will not meet your expectations - choose joy anyway - jlh

Anais Nin: We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.

"Life is not supposed to be fair." - jlh

Monastery Housekeeping

Sunday, July 12, 2009

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Oscar Wilde quote: Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I don't agree with the universality of this Ocsar Wilde quote, but there is a painful degree to truth to it. By all means have values, and support those values. However, be conscious of never mistaking the superficial differences of others as being an attack on your core values. Let your motto be, "Live and Let Live."

Some describe Oscar Wilde (1854-1900 Irish playwright, poet and author) as brilliant, others as snotty. Personally, I don't resonate with his style in general, but I find value in the following sayings.

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde

Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

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Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets - jonathan lockwood huie


Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets
- jonathan lockwood huie

Being angry is as close as a human being can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- jonathan lockwood huie

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us only occasionally, some almost daily. Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not. We will always have expectations, and those expectations will often be unmet. Disappointment is the principle cause of anger. When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame. Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger. Anger is always directed at someone - possibly God or the non-specific they, but some animate entity.

You've told yourself a hundred times that you aren't going to get angry - really angry - ever again, but wham, you start to feel that telltale heat, locked shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Someone has just done something really awful and you are angry at them. What now?

Here are my 7 Secrets to Stop Anger before It Stops You:

1. Recognize when you are angry: It may not immediately occur to you that you are angry. You know that you have been wronged, and you can see everyone around you take a step back, but especially if you are really angry, it may take a while to gain the clarity to acknowledge your anger. Anger clouds perception and thinking, so make a special effort to spot it early and put it into words, "I am angry."

2. Breathe deeply: Concentrate on taking slow deep breaths. Sometimes this is all it takes to break out of anger and gain clarity on the issue. At other times, breathing deeply is just a beginning, but it paves the way for the rest of the secrets.

3. Focus your anger: Get clear what you are angry about and who you are angry at. Talk to yourself, "I am angry at Joe because he ..." Don't let your anger expand onto innocent bystanders, especially those trying to help calm you down. Don't refocus your anger onto everything that Joe has ever done or failed to do.

4. Remember that you are in charge: Anger is an expression of frustration and helplessness. Remember that you always have options - you can design your own life. No one can steal your happiness - unless you let them.

5. Look for the silver lining: There is a silver lining to every disappointment. Your boss fired you and you are furious. Probably it was a blessing. Now you have the opportunity to get a better job that you really enjoy.

6. Consider forgiveness: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Forgive everyone for everything in order to give anger and resentment a chance to fade. Forgive and you can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.

7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. To choose happiness, be open to receiving whatever life throws at you - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

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Ralph Waldo Emerson: People only see what they are prepared to see


People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Ralph Waldo Emerson: A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

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Friedrich Nietzsche: There are no facts, only interpretations

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
What we see depends more on ourselves than on what is "out there." We see what we assume (believe) will be there. We see what we expect (demand) to be there. We see what we fear will be there. And we see what we wish will be there. Then we label what we "see" as facts.

Wherever there are disagreements and confrontations, there are at least two perfectly valid interpretations that are vehemently labeled as "fact." Everyone considers "I'm right, you're wrong," to be a fact - the only difference is to whom "I" and "you" refer.

Monday, January 12, 2009

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Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat, Push Your Buttons, Get You Riled Up, or Annoy You - 6 Ways to Cope - jlh

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- jlh
Whether phrased as "push your buttons," "get your goat," "get you riled up," or "annoy you," it's no fun to be on the receiving end. How to cope?

1. Don't take it personally. Even when someone criticizes your actions or demeans your very nature, know that they are merely directing their inner turmoil in your direction. Someone else's opinion of you is mostly irrelevant, and basically none of your business. Don't assume that there is any validity to an accusation. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson buried inside the unkindness that merits objective consideration, but negative emotions are best just quickly discarded.

2. Look to the positive people in your life for support. If you balance many positive and supportive friends against one or two negative influences, it is much easier to cope. If you don't currently have enough positive people in your life, begin a focused effort to add positive people to your inner circle. If you don't have personal connections, search for groups of positive people at MeetUp.com

3. Remove negative people from your life. Yes you can, even if it's your boss. You don't need that job so much that it's worth your health or happiness. Everything in life is a choice. Sometimes making a change is important, while other times just knowing that you hold the power to make a different choice is enough.

4. Forgive the offender, not for their sake, but for your own sake. The act of forgiving releases your anger and provides space for rational thinking and action.

5. Be grateful for the wake-up call. Any time that someone or something grabs your attention is a good time to be grateful - even if the message is unpleasant. Something is happening that requires your conscious awareness. Perhaps you have a lesson to learn or an action to take. Perhaps it is time to remove another negative influence from your life.

6. Release any expectations that the unkind person should have acted differently. Life is not fair, and you only cause yourself unhappiness if you hold an expectation that life or any individual should be fair or kind.

Read Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets for more ways to cope with anger.

Friday, January 9, 2009

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Anais Nin: We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are. - Anaïs Nin
See that large animal chewing its cud and saying moo... the black and white one, or maybe the brown one. What do you see? Perhaps an object of religious veneration? Perhaps a friend to be decked in flowers and led through the streets on parade? Perhaps a source of milk? Perhaps tonight's pot roast? These are all the same animal, the difference is in our seeing.

What we see is more a function of our parents, our childhood, our family, our friends, our church, and our community than it is a direct result of the object or action before our eyes.

Moreover, we see what we ASSUME we will see. If you believe the world is evil, you will see evil. If you believe the world is good, you will see good. To change how life looks, change how you see life - change your expectations of life.

Friday, September 5, 2008

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Question your questions

Question your questions.
question every assumption & expectation
- jonathan lockwood huie

Often, we get stuck on a question for which we can't find an acceptable answer. That is a good time to consider asking a different question. Every question is based on some assumptions - usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.

"How can I get my boss to give me the raise I deserve and need?" is that sort of question. Question the question. What are my priorities in life? How do I value money relative to play, family, friends, health? How could I redesign my life to need less money? Whatever your questions are, question them.
A quote from LIVE BOLDLY
A well timed question is more impacting than an answer.
- mary anne radmacher

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